Trust is my One Word for 2012. If you haven’t heard of One Word 2012, it’s choosing one word, through thought and prayer, to focus on for the year. Since beginning this, I’ve been surprised, and sometimes amazed, at how often the issue of trust becomes present in my relationship with God.
A few weeks ago, I shared that I planned to spend more time studying Scripture verses regarding trust. While I’m still doing that, this week I realized that the issue of trust is underlying even when the word “trust” is not in the verse.
Have you ever felt like a Scripture verse leapt off the page when you read it? I love when that happens! I feel like God is being really obvious in getting my attention, and honestly, sometimes I need that. He grabbed my attention this week as I read Psalm 139.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
And lead me along the path of everlasting life.
(Psalm 139:23-24 NLT)
I’ve read these two verses many times, but what came to mind this time was trust.
Do I trust God…with me?
I often turn to God in prayer asking Him to change my heart, but then I slip in a change in situation or someone else that would benefit me.
Lord, please change my heart…and could you also change him (or her)?
God, I know I need work on my heart, but if you could also change this situation, everything would be a lot easier.
After all, these are the sources of my troubles, right?
As I read these verses over and over, I wondered…When I ask God to change my heart, am I prepared to accept that He might work on me and not the other person or the situation at hand?
Do I trust Him enough to change my heart knowing it means laying down my hopes and desires that might not line up with His plans for me?
Maybe you’ve considered this before, but it struck me in such a way that I had to think about it and have a heart-to-heart with God. If you’ve ever had an honest heart-to-heart talk with God, you know it can be gut-wrenching.
As I spent time (and shed a few tears) with Him, He showed me a few areas that need some work, to put it mildly.
Jealously…it starts with comparing myself to others, and wanting something more, better, or different than what I have. Jealously feeds on itself until it’s completely out of control and making me sick.
Disappointment…it comes from relying on others instead of God. I don’t mean the “don’t forget the milk at the store” type of reliance. I mean putting my trust and hopes in someone, expecting that person to handle such a huge burden and not let me down.
Unhappiness…the outcome of jealously and disappointment. It’s what happens when I spend my time focusing on what’s not going right in my life (according to me), instead of what’s going well. Unhappiness leads to a lack of thankfulness.
God searched me and showed me what is offensive to Him.
Do I trust Him to clean this poison out of my heart and change me? Yes.
I know it won’t be easy. In fact, at times I think it will be emotional and painful. But I surrender. I trust God to make changes…in me.