Thursday, March 1, 2012

Trusting God…With Me

Trust

Trust is my One Word for 2012. If you haven’t heard of One Word 2012, it’s choosing one word, through thought and prayer, to focus on for the year. Since beginning this, I’ve been surprised, and sometimes amazed, at how often the issue of trust becomes present in my relationship with God.

A few weeks ago, I shared that I planned to spend more time studying Scripture verses regarding trust. While I’m still doing that, this week I realized that the issue of trust is underlying even when the word “trust” is not in the verse.

Have you ever felt like a Scripture verse leapt off the page when you read it? I love when that happens! I feel like God is being really obvious in getting my attention, and honestly, sometimes I need that. He grabbed my attention this week as I read Psalm 139.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
And lead me along the path of everlasting life.
(Psalm 139:23-24 NLT)

I’ve read these two verses many times, but what came to mind this time was trust.

Do I trust God…with me?

I often turn to God in prayer asking Him to change my heart, but then I slip in a change in situation or someone else that would benefit me.

Lord, please change my heart…and could you also change him (or her)?

God, I know I need work on my heart, but if you could also change this situation, everything would be a lot easier.

After all, these are the sources of my troubles, right?

As I read these verses over and over, I wondered…When I ask God to change my heart, am I prepared to accept that He might work on me and not the other person or the situation at hand?

Do I trust Him enough to change my heart knowing it means laying down my hopes and desires that might not line up with His plans for me?

Maybe you’ve considered this before, but it struck me in such a way that I had to think about it and have a heart-to-heart with God. If you’ve ever had an honest heart-to-heart talk with God, you know it can be gut-wrenching.

As I spent time (and shed a few tears) with Him, He showed me a few areas that need some work, to put it mildly.

Jealously…it starts with comparing myself to others, and wanting something more, better, or different than what I have. Jealously feeds on itself until it’s completely out of control and making me sick.

Disappointment…it comes from relying on others instead of God. I don’t mean the “don’t forget the milk at the store” type of reliance. I mean putting my trust and hopes in someone, expecting that person to handle such a huge burden and not let me down.

Unhappiness…the outcome of jealously and disappointment. It’s what happens when I spend my time focusing on what’s not going right in my life (according to me), instead of what’s going well. Unhappiness leads to a lack of thankfulness.

God searched me and showed me what is offensive to Him.

Do I trust Him to clean this poison out of my heart and change me? Yes.

I know it won’t be easy. In fact, at times I think it will be emotional and painful. But I surrender. I trust God to make changes…in me.

In Christ,

23 comments:

  1. Laura, know that you are special just the way God created you (to be).

    Blessings to you :)

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  2. Whenever I've prayed Psalm 139:23-24, it's been with some reserve because I didn't know what God would show me and ask of me and the possibilities scared me. You articulated why I've been afraid of this prayer so well -- the issue is my trust in God.

    Thanks for posting and making me consider this!

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    1. Rebecca, thanks for your comment. I'm finding many areas in which my trust needs some strengthening, areas I didn't even realize were lacking. I keep telling myself that if He brings me to making that change, He'll walk with me and get me through it.

      Blessings,
      Laura

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  3. Wonderful insight in this post. Psalm 139 is my favorite and one I am studying in depth this year. Trust can be a huge issue. I see it as a spiral, slowly coming round and round, making progress but some of the time at the same points over and over again. Are you amazed in how blogging about our journeys we learn so much? glad I found you today through the gathering at the grace cafe meme.

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    1. Hi Jean,
      I agree, writing and blogging really adds to my growth and learning, along with reading and studying. I really enjoy it.

      I'm so glad you stopped by today! Thanks for leaving a comment.

      In Christ,
      Laura

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  4. Hi Laura - ouch and again ouch! I've also read those scriptures and thought how lovely. But do I ever really think what it means for God to search out my heart. Do I really trust Him with it? Great thought provoking points
    God bless and have a great weekend
    Tracy
    ps: Try leaving a comment today, see if it picks up? :)

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  5. lol! I totally understand! And yes, yes, yes... I love when God's Word jumps out and hits me between the eyes. One of my favorite things. Thanks so much for sharing your heart and for linking up Laura!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!

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  6. I've been praying a similar prayer and it has led to painful growth. And yet, I can say "thank you, Lord" because it's His grace that doesn't allow us to stay in our messes. Great post!

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    1. Growth can definitely be painful, but so worth it in the end. I think it's a sign of growth in and of itself when we can struggle through the trials and still thank God for refining us.
      Thanks for visiting & for your comment Jennifer!
      God bless,
      Laura

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  7. Beautiful post, Laura! It blessed me so. thank you for posting it.
    Oh the things we see when we ask Him to show us. I know that pain well as He has been showing me things I wouldn't have believed for myself!
    Honored to follow you on this journey. Thank you!

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    1. Nikki, I feel blessed by your encouragement and in getting to know you. Thank you!
      In Christ,
      Laura

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  8. Oh, Laura, this is so beautiful. And that verse, Psalm 139:23-24, I began praying that prayer when I was 17 and read it for the very first time. I've now been praying that verse for over 20 years, and it never gets old. It's truly my heart's desire, for Him to know me and lead me. I've actually been thinking about that very passage recently. Thanks for bringing it to our hearts today.

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    1. Denise, thank you for your kind words and encouragement! I love how God seems to bring us together in Scripture, showing us the same verses or topics around the same time. Thank you for visiting and commenting today.
      In Christ,
      Laura

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  9. Laura, this is so good! I used to pray for the Lord to change the other person. If only he would be this way or do this. But over time, the Lord showed me that I cannot change another. And He was working on my heart, my attitude, my desires.

    I love the Psalm 139 Scriptures too. Oh and yes ...trust is right there, isn't it?

    Thank you for your comment on Heart Choices. I believe this is my first visit to your blog and yet we have some common blogging friends. I hope to return again soon.

    Blessings and love,
    Debbie

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    1. Thank you Debbie, I'm so glad you stopped by today! Hope to see you again soon.
      Laura

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  10. Do I trust God with me? Ouch. It's so much easier to trust God with others. I have proven that God is with us in the hardest of times. He's trustworthy!

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  11. Trust is so important. God is the only one we can trust 100%, 100% of the time. Thank you for sharing your heart in this post. It is an inspiration for me and I know it is for others also.
    Blessings,
    Charlotte

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    1. Charlotte, thank you for visiting and for your kind words!
      God bless,
      Laura

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  12. I heard a quote once that stated something to the effect of "At the root of every sin is the fact that we don't trust that what God has for us is better than what the sin promises." I could go through a list of my "struggles" as you did and find that to be true of all of them!

    My word for 2012 is "Focus." :)

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  13. Laura - my word of the year is also trust (and I have aleady been tested a few times.)

    Thank you for sharing the verse from Psalms. I am struggling with some decisions that I must make and I can't seem to get a clear answer from God. I would do well to pray that verse in thee event some unconfessed sin is hindring my prayers.

    Blessings,
    Joan

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts!