Showing posts with label Jealously. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jealously. Show all posts

The Twinge of Jealousy


I wasn’t really thinking about much of anything as I scrolled through my Facebook feed…until I saw more vacation pictures, and I felt that familiar twinge.

It seems to come out of nowhere, but it must be simmering right under the surface because it rises up suddenly and grips me from the inside.

It’s those feelings of jealously and envy I don’t even want to admit to you. Maybe you know what I’m talking about.

But something different happened today as soon as I recognized those feelings.

I felt like God was reminding me that my road looks different than someone else’s. It may not be as pretty as the pictures I was looking at, but it is no less important.

And I felt myself relax.

I hadn’t noticed when my body tensed up, but jealousy and envy will do that to us. It takes control of our senses and tries to tell us what we feel is true. Honestly, jealously and envy are such bullies. {Tweet this}

When I felt God’s reminder wash over me though, I felt peace. My body relaxed as the tension drained, and thankfulness replaced discontentment.

It didn’t used to happen this quickly for me. I would stew in thoughts of comparison. I would continue to scroll through others’ perfect-looking pictures and think about it for hours, making myself feel even worse. But, I’ve learned that’s not the way I want to live.

God is teaching me that my calling is unique. He has me in a place that is just where I’m supposed to be right now.

It may not be what I had planned, but I know now that where He has me is where I want to be, because any other place would be my will, not His.

God’s plans are not always easy, but they are better than I imagined. Even when the road is rocky and difficult to walk, He has good things along the way that only He could have planned.

God’s plans for each of us are different. They may look similar and we may walk along the same path for a while, but God’s plans are always unique. 

Our life stories will never be identical because He creates each of us with an identity all our own. {Tweet this}

Still, social media has a way of making us forget this. So, how can we keep from falling into this trap of comparison and jealously over and over?

Spend time in prayer and God’s Word.

Access to social media is so easy, but it can’t be the only place we spend our time. I believe that as I’ve grown in my faith journey, I’ve learned to sense God’s presence with me. As I pray and read His Word, I don’t wonder if He’s with me. I know He’s with me.

God’s presence in our lives has to be greater than the presence of social media in our lives. {Tweet this}

I’m not anti-social-media. It has its good points, but like anything, it also has its bad points. If it’s where we spend most of our time, it gets harder to differentiate between the two.

Change your perspective.

How we look at our circumstances makes a difference. If all we can see are the difficulties and what we don’t have, we end up living with a negative perspective of everything. 

But, if we can make a conscious effort to look for God’s blessings in the midst of trials, we will begin to see the good, despite the bad. We will still see the dark storm clouds and our trying circumstances, but it won’t be the only things we see.

Take a break from social media.

I started to learn this lesson a few years ago when there was a conference I would have liked to attend. I scrolled through the conference pictures and comments most of the weekend, even though my feelings of jealously and envy were growing quickly and affecting my mood and attitude around my family. 

I finally wondered Why am I doing this to myself?

What I want to focus on is those around me and the life God has blessed me with, and not let pictures of someone else’s opportunities ruin it.

That means sometimes it’s necessary to take a break from social media. Avoiding the constant updates on what everyone else is doing keeps me from becoming jealous and irritable, and makes me a more pleasant person to be around. Something I’m sure my family appreciates.

What’s been your experience? Do you struggle with jealousy and envy with social media?

In Christ,
Laura 


There is a Place for Your Story


It happened again last night while scrolling through Facebook. I saw a message between two women I know, one congratulating and encouraging the other on a recent speaking engagement. I don’t know if it was more about the accomplishment or the relationship between the two women, but the reaction was quick and fierce.

Jealousy. Envy. Defeat. I wondered why I even try when there are so many others with a better message.

I’m thankful that God has had me in this place before because this time I recognized it quickly. Just as quick as the jealous thoughts entered, I took control of them before they could take control over me.

I was reminded that God has made a place for each of us. There is enough room for each message and each voice. Even better, there is a need for each message and each voice.

Even when our messages are similar, they are still different because each of us has a unique way of sharing our stories. Your voice and message may touch one person, while someone else’s words catch my attention.

Each of our stories has the potential to reach out and draw someone closer to God. {Tweet this}

A life experience that brings someone to take a breath and say Me too! is a story worth sharing. It benefits both sides in ways we may, or may not, see. But God knows.

He has plans for our stories and He will use them to reach others. {Tweet this}

The jealously I started to feel when reading that Facebook message suggests there is only one story to tell, one way to tell it, and only one person to voice it. Nothing could be further from the truth. Satan knows that, but he will use it anyway to keep us quiet.

How often is he successful in keeping us from speaking? It almost happened to me last night. Even misplaced feelings of defeat are powerful in keeping us silent. But the Truth is much more powerful.

There is a place for your voice, and mine. Not one or the other, but both. God intends for us to share and encourage others through what He has brought us through. 
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT 
God has a time and place for each of our stories to be shared. The comments I read last night had nothing to do with me. They were God’s time and place for someone else. 
For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this? Esther 4:14 ESV 
There will always be someone else to speak up…but how do we know we’re not missing the appointed time and place God planned for us to speak? Right now. Right where we are. To reach someone God has placed on our path.

Last night, I was able to recognize quickly when negativity started to creep in, so I did three things. First, I closed Facebook and got offline, because that’s often the best line of defense. Then, I went to bed, and while I fell asleep, I planned to write this post in the morning.

In Christ,
Laura 

[Photo credit: Unsplash.com]


A Way Out of Temptation


I've always had a like - dislike relationship with social media. I've never loved it, but I don't really hate it anymore.

It’s been a blessing in many ways, but the best part—and I only know this because of the occasional e-mail I receive telling me—is that God uses what He leads me to write to touch others. And that makes being in this online world so much richer.

Any form of social media, however, can be addicting. And then it can become destructive.

Too often I've found myself losing chunks of time scrolling through feeds aimlessly. Or feeling like I have to keep up with what someone else is doing...only to then feel inadequate and insecure.

It's a temptation that sneaks up and attacks, and we're vulnerable to it because we think we have it under control.

But God gives us a way out.

When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. 1 Corinthians 10:13b NLT
The question is, are we going to take that way out?

Are we going to avoid the temptation by accepting God's help?

To continue reading, please join me over at LifeNotes...


In Christ,
Laura

Photo credit: Stock photo: Vineyard Gate (Waterfords)

Linking up with The Weekend Brew, Sharing His Beauty, #RaRaLinkup, Testimony Tuesday, Playdates with God, #TellHisStory, Everyday Jesus, Thought Provoking Thursday, Blessing Counters, Faith Filled Friday, Grace & Truth

Every Part Rejoices


If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.  
1 Corinthians 12:26 NIV

I was in a meeting yesterday where 1 Corinthians 12:12-26 was read and discussed. The passage talks about the body of Christ, made up of many members, each with different gifts, talents, and roles to play within the body.

While the conversation centered around the entire passage, focusing on being there for one another through suffering, my thoughts zeroed in on the second half of 1 Corinthians 12:26…

…if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Friends, we—you and I—make up the body of Christ. Each of us have different gifts and talents to offer…which lead us to different places on this journey in faith we’re on. Places that often lead us to comparison, competition, and jealously of others.

Ouch. I hate to admit that sometimes jealously is my first reaction when someone I know is honored, long before rejoicing.

Maybe you can relate—

when a co-worker gets the promotion…

when fellow blogger’s post goes viral…

when someone else is asked to speak at a conference…

when the sales of another author’s book take off

—and your congratulations is a little more forced than you let on.

…if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. 

Last year, I ran a series of posts by guest contributors titled, “Comparing Ourselves to Others…and what it does to us.” Based on the comments and feedback on that series, I know I’m not alone in this struggle. After all, we’re human, with human emotions and dreams…and sometimes watching someone else’s dream come to fruition stings.

Because somewhere along the way, we’ve reasoned that one person’s success takes away our opportunity for success.

It sounds kind of silly, doesn’t it? There is not a shortage of work to be done in God’s Kingdom, and yet we convince ourselves it’s a competition, with the notion that if she gets there first, there is no room for me.

The enemy must love this because once we’ve opened the door to comparison, he doesn’t even have to force his way in. It’s an open invitation for him to shout the lies of how we aren’t good enough.

…if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

God has given us different skills and abilities as He chooses. He directs the path and the time for which our gifts can serve others.

But...I wonder how often our jealously and frustration cause us to quit before our time comes.

Think about it for a moment. Have you ever been to that edge of discouragement and you decide to just give it up? What if your time of being honored was just around the corner? And you missed it.

It gives me a sick feeling to think I missed something God was leading me to because I let jealously get in the way.   

So, what if we don’t let that happen? What if we put our emotions and ambitions aside, and stand united against the enemy?

Instead, we’ll stand united for God’s Kingdom work, no matter what our individual roles may be.

That means when one part of the body of Christ is honored, every part rejoices with it.

And, friends, I’m rejoicing with you today.

In Christ,
Laura

When You Don’t Want to Admit You’re a Little Jealous

It happened again. I read about something new. Something really cool. Something that would’ve been fun to participate in. But I wasn’t asked.

It wasn’t a slight against me—there is absolutely no reason I should have been asked. And to be honest, being a part wasn’t even my first thought. It was just something I was perusing…and then I saw her picture.

Ouch. I don’t like to admit that, even to myself, but the feeling was there. Thankfully, so was logic. I asked myself why I felt like that—I don’t have time for another commitment. My focus has been pulled elsewhere this year, and I’ve accepted that because I know that’s where God has moved me.

But that feeling…that niggling bit of why-not-me that gets into my heart and then my stomach. I know it has to be stopped before it grows into the monster jealously becomes.

So, I took it to God.

God, I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but…why not me?

That’s not what I planned for you.

(Deep breath.)

You have planned other things for me…places where I’m needed right now, things to do today, and something for later which I don’t even know about yet.

That’s right.

(Another deep breath.)

Okay, thanks. I think I’m good now.

Admit it.

Um, I just did—to You. So…can You take away the icky feeling now?

Yes, but you need to admit it again so you can let it go.

(Sigh.) I know.

There really is something about shedding light to the dark little parts I’d rather not tell you about.

Jealously is meant to be kept in the dark because there it grows—fast and without being noticed. It’s harder to stop after it’s grown vines around your heart and clouded your thinking. It overshadows common sense and distorts perception.

Jealously changes who we are—who God made us to be. (<== Click to tweet.)

It makes us think less of what God has purposed us for because we’re focused on what someone else has.

Jealously causes us to lose what God has placed in front of us—we miss out on His plan for us.

And the thing is, if it’s what God Himself designed, then it’s better than what we see somewhere else—because His plans for you were not meant for me, and His plans for me were not for you.

That’s the perfectness of God’s plans—they are specific for each of us. God’s plans are personal—creatively thought out and set up individually—for you and for me.

In Christ,
Laura