A few weeks ago, the annual
Allume conference—a gathering of hundreds of women, meeting together as a
community of writers, bloggers, and speakers—was held in South Carolina. I
wasn’t there.
I would’ve liked to attend, but certain factors, like cost,
timing, travel, etc., got in the way. Most of the time, I was okay with not
going. Other times, the enemy used it against me, telling me I’d never get
there and everyone was moving ahead in this online world, while I was left
behind. Every time jealousy stirred my insides (You know, that feeling of being
eaten from the inside out?) I tried my best to give it to God.
Meanwhile, God was asking me to give up some particular
dreams I was tightly clinging to, and I wasn’t particularly happy with His
request. But, being the awesome God that He is, He explained. At a completely
unexpected moment, He whispered to my heart…
You want them to think
you’re important.
I was speechless—literally, mouth open, but without a word
to say. I replayed His words to me over and over in my mind, and something
clicked.
I realized I was looking to these dreams to define me,
instead of how God defines me.
I was surprised to read that many of the women who went,
felt the same need I did—the need to feel like we belong…to measure up to
others’ accomplishments—the need to feel important.
It didn’t matter whether I had attended Allume or not. It
seemed God was teaching us the same lesson.
It’s not the people we know or what we accomplish that makes
us important. It’s Who we know. And His opinion is the only one that matters.
It’s made me realize that I wasn’t left behind by staying
home, because this is where I was supposed to be, right where He called me.
As for the Allume conference, I still want to attend
someday…when God says it’s where He wants me. Until then, I think I like this
little place He’s given me in the online world.
In Christ,
Laura
