Monday, November 4, 2013

What I Learned by Not Going to Allume


A few weeks ago, the annual Allume conference—a gathering of hundreds of women, meeting together as a community of writers, bloggers, and speakers—was held in South Carolina. I wasn’t there.

I would’ve liked to attend, but certain factors, like cost, timing, travel, etc., got in the way. Most of the time, I was okay with not going. Other times, the enemy used it against me, telling me I’d never get there and everyone was moving ahead in this online world, while I was left behind. Every time jealousy stirred my insides (You know, that feeling of being eaten from the inside out?) I tried my best to give it to God.

Meanwhile, God was asking me to give up some particular dreams I was tightly clinging to, and I wasn’t particularly happy with His request. But, being the awesome God that He is, He explained. At a completely unexpected moment, He whispered to my heart…

You want them to think you’re important.

I was speechless—literally, mouth open, but without a word to say. I replayed His words to me over and over in my mind, and something clicked.

I realized I was looking to these dreams to define me, instead of how God defines me.

I thought about it for days, as the Allume conference came and went. Over the next week, I read posts by other writers and bloggers about what they learned at Allume.

I was surprised to read that many of the women who went, felt the same need I did—the need to feel like we belong…to measure up to others’ accomplishments—the need to feel important.

It didn’t matter whether I had attended Allume or not. It seemed God was teaching us the same lesson.

It’s not the people we know or what we accomplish that makes us important. It’s Who we know. And His opinion is the only one that matters.

It’s made me realize that I wasn’t left behind by staying home, because this is where I was supposed to be, right where He called me.

As for the Allume conference, I still want to attend someday…when God says it’s where He wants me. Until then, I think I like this little place He’s given me in the online world.

In Christ,
Laura  

8 comments:

  1. Oh Laura, I know exactly these feelings. I had to fight to not be jealous or envious of these women all together in the same room. I know it was not God's timing for me. I can see now how i may have crashed and burned had I gone. You have a strong and powerful voice in this on line community. I am thankful for you!

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    1. Thank you Barbie! You are a blessing to me!
      ~Laura

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  2. Dear Laura
    When I started blogging I wrote a post called, Lazarus' Legacy. When I was reading it again some time ago I realized that I was preaching to myself and it was then as if God revealed to my hart what really matters in this world. Remember, dear friend, how this world with all its religious ways and wrong priorities crucified our Lord! But it is not an easy battle to overcome. Praying for you, dear one.
    Blessings XX
    Mia

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    1. I have found myself doing the same, Mia--reading earlier posts and realizing they were ministering to me. Always thankful when you stop by!

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  3. I remember feeling the same way last year when I didn't go to Allume. I was so happy for those who went, but also wanted to be a part of it. I hope you can go sometime, when the time is right for you. Love you.

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    1. Thank you Jennifer. When the time is right, He will get me there. :)

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  4. Laura, thank you for sharing this. I, too, did not go to Allume. I've always wanted to but never have had the chance. I've also experienced these same feelings. But when God is ready, you and I both will get there. :)

    Thanks for linking with Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. God bless.

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  5. Thank you. God has been speaking to me also about contentment and not comparing myself to others.

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts!