The plan was in place and I prayed about it, asking that if it pleased God it would happen.
So, I wrote, rewrote, and submitted to publishers, all the while praying and researching. The rejection letters were numerous, but I knew it came with the territory. I reminded myself that many famous authors went through years of rejection before their first big break. I received some encouraging hand written comments and even won 3rd place in a writing contest. My hope was kept alive.
For a while.
Meanwhile, my daughter was getting older and when she started school, it was time for me to go back to work. Around the same time, a final rejection came—the one where the editor asked to see the complete manuscript. I thought it would be a perfect fit for the magazine. But the editor thought otherwise and didn’t use the story.
The disappointment ran deep. Although this was my plan, I decided it wasn’t in God’s plans for me. I let the dream die and eventually forgot about it.
Fast forward to this past year when God led me to start an online women’s Bible study. I had never thought of writing for women before, and the idea of leading was not a welcomed one. And yet, God had been laying it on my heart.
I was now leading Bible studies through which other women and I were growing closer to God. I was writing on a regular basis, and other opportunities to write opened up. It was fun and amazing, and I knew it was God’s work.
And then one night He reminded me of my past dream—the one I let die when it didn’t happen how I expected or when I wanted.
It was like God said, “See? I’ve been working all this time.”
I realized I had put a time frame on my dream. I had decided how my plan to write would happen, step by step. In my mind, I even left myself open to God’s leading. I was willing to write Christian non-fiction books for children. You know, to stay flexible, so God could work. Ahem.
So when it didn’t happen in the years I’d planned, I decided it wasn’t meant to be. What I see now is that it just wasn’t time yet, but it wasn’t wasted time either. In those years, a lot happened. It was a time of growth in my personal relationship with God and within my family.
He worked in ways I never imagined. And in His time, not mine.
God was changing me and growing a new energy and excitement in my heart. Those years were necessary to move me where He wanted me—to find my hope in Him, rather than people, plans, and goals.
I think that’s why I love these words from Angela Thomas so much…
“Would you leave the door open for God?...Would you leave room for hope? For the miraculous? For what God has beyond anything you dream for yourself?” –Angela Thomas, Do You Know Who I Am? (pg. 198)
I’ve seen God’s work in my past, and I have the confident expectation He will always be there in my future.
And now I ask you…
Will you leave the door open for God?
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
Thank you so much for spending some time here with me. This week we are in the final chapter “Do You Know I Am Disappointed?...He is My Hope.” of our online study of Do You Know Who I Am? by Angela Thomas. If you’ve participated in the study, I pray it’s been a blessing to you. God bless!
Linking up with On Your Heart Tuesday, Just Write, Word Filled Wednesday, Grace Cafe, Women Living Well Wednesday, Thought Provoking Thursday, and Life in Bloom.