December 3, 2018

Grief at the Holidays


It's been a long time since I was dealing with fresh grief at the holidays. But here I am again.

I knew this Christmas would be difficult after losing my mom a few months ago. I thought I was ready, but are we ever really ready for the way the memories wash over us? The way they surprise us even when we're expecting them? {Tweet this}

I was feeling energetic when I made the spontaneous decision to put up our Christmas tree before Thanksgiving. I already had garland hung around the house and was looking forward to the tree lights lighting up the room.

By the time we finished I was no longer energetic. I was exhausted, mostly from the emotions and tears. I know it's important to let myself cry when I need to, but I don't want to get stuck there.

So, through the hurricane of emotions there are a few things I'm reminding myself of. Perhaps they might be helpful for you too.

- Let yourself remember.

- Let yourself feel and cry when you need to.

Take it all to God. Ask for His comfort, guidance, and peace.

Everyone's grief looks different. It hits at different moments, with different memories, and for different lengths of time. No one's grief is right or wrong and shouldn't be compared to someone else's. {Tweet this}

- Try not to get stuck in the past and look toward the future, even if you can't see what that looks like.

I know the good memories are a blessing, even if they bring tears. And I'm realizing that the more difficult memories have a purpose too. They help me heal and they help me process life, allowing me to see where I've been and where I am now.

And maybe that's something God wants to show me.

Friends, as you may have noticed, I haven't been posting here regularly and it's made me realize admit that I need some time. So, I've decided to take some time off from blogging and plan to return after the New Year around mid-January. I will also be spending less time on social media through the holidays.

Wishing you a blessed Christmas,
Laura

[Photo credit: Unsplash.com]

Linking up with: Purposeful Faith, #TeaAndWord, #GracefullTuesday, Trekking Thru, #TellHisStory, #RechargeWednesday, #porchstories, Let’s Have Coffee, Moments of Hope, #HeartEncouragement, #DestinationInspiration, #TuneInThursday, #FreshMarketFriday, Faith ‘n Friends, #FaithonFire, Grace & Truth, #BVNetworkParty

13 comments:

  1. Thank you for this, Laura. This is my second Christmas without my mum. The holidays do bring memories to the surface. So thankful we have a Savior who understands our grief.

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  2. Everyone's grief looks different: This is such an important reminder. Thanks for this timely reminder.

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  3. You are in my prayers. I didn't lose anyone, but both my parents and my in-laws have moved out of state. We are a tight-knit family so there has been grief over this and I have to remind myself of that. Thank you for your encouragement in Christ. Take a break...rest in Him. With love, visiting from #TeaAndWord

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    1. Thank you Julie. Grief is real and overwhelming, no matter what the cause. It is hard, but God is good. 💙 Always.

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  4. Oh Laura, I'm so very sorry for this great loss ...

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  5. Laura, I am glad you recognized your need to remove yourself and grieve. I lost my precious Mom October 2012 and I still want to call her every day to ask her something (she was a deep well of information!). The one thing I did do is GRIEVE. Long and hard. I allowed myself that. You take as long as necessary - xo

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    1. Thank you Susan. I always appreciate your encouragement. 💙

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  6. Laura, I'm so sorry you lost your mom. I appreciate your words here. Thank you for the reminder that we need to let ourselves cry, and that grief shows itself in different ways for different people. May your blogging/social media break be one of restoration and rest.

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  7. These words, I welcome. This is the 5th Christmas without my dad and it feels like his passing was yesterday. And it is hard every single year. To top things off, I lost my 17 yrs old dog the week before this Thanksgiving and that was crushing because I loved that sweet nugget as my kid. He was the last connection I really had to my single life (I got married three years ago). So in all, I am trying to focus on advent and embracing God into every aspect of the season, and putting my grief and hope in him.

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    1. I'm so sorry Angie. I know the pain of losing a pet...they're family members.💛

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  8. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Praying for you as you take some time out this Christmas and that you know God's peace even as you grieve.

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  9. Laura, so grateful you shared. Grief surely comes in waves - sometimes gentle, other times like a torrent. May God comfort you and bring you His peace as you take this time to step away. Blessings!

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  10. Oh, Laura, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's passing. I can only imagine how hard these first holidays are. Praying God comforts your heart and brings you peace. Blessings, friend.

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts!