3 Steps to Stop Comparisons

The feeling was quick. Instant, really. I had just seen that an author I was reading about is the same age as I am. And I immediately (immediately!) thought of all that she's accomplished. And all that I haven't.

Fortunately, I quickly recognized what was happening. I was comparing myself to someone I've never met. Someone with a different story than me. Someone with whom I've never crossed paths with outside of reading her written words.

I was comparing myself to someone whose accomplishments don't add to or take away from anything I've done or not done. And yet, for a moment, I was ready to give the enemy that power over me.

I'm convinced that the enemy loves when we compare ourselves to others. Why wouldn't he? When we let comparisons take over our thinking we do his work for him.

I imagine him standing back, whispering his encouragement...That's right. Look at her. You're the same age and look at all she's been able to do.

Meanwhile, disappointment in myself is starting to stir. Satan tosses a little fuel to the fire and I let it really get going. To the point of ruining my mood and my day, leading me to the "why even try" discouragement and wanting to quit.

Oh yes, he has that ability. But we don't have to give him that power over us!

Jesus stops Satan in his tracks, and through Jesus, we are able to stop the comparisons that lead us down that negative path. {Tweet this}

3 Steps to Stop Comparisons

1 - Recognize when we’re starting to compare ourselves to someone else.

Maybe it’s how we look, our education, whether or not we’re stay-at-home moms, our accomplishments, our families, our kids’ behavior…the list goes on. We can be quick to compare ourselves in any and every way to what we see around us. But what we see rarely tells the entire story.

These comparisons can sneak up quick and have lasting effects. The quicker we recognize when we’re comparing what we know of ourselves to what we see of someone else, the quicker we can try to stop it.

2 - Know and understand how these comparisons affect us.

If seeing someone’s achievement motivates you to keep trying or to do something you’ve been wanting to do, then by all means, let it motivate you!

But, the effects I’m talking about are jealously, envy, dislike, discouragement, and wanting to give up. (These emotions have physical effects as well, like headaches, depression, anxiety, digestive issues, etc.) You know what I’m talking about, right?

If we can recognize when we’re comparing, and acknowledge what it usually does to us, then we have a better chance of stopping it before we start down that negative path.

3 – Stop comparing.

I don’t say this flippantly. This step is often the hardest because it takes a conscious effort to put the breaks on something before it spins out of control. It means closing the social media screen or ending the conversation, changing focus, and telling ourselves to stop. Not easy, but it is possible, and with practice, it doesn’t feel quite so challenging.

I was able to stop it in my experience above because I’ve been working on not comparing myself to others for years. (years!) I’m no expert, nor do I have a 100% track record, but I know what it will do to me if I let myself stay in comparison mode.

God’s plans for each of us are different, but they are good. We may eventually meet up in the same place, but no one gets there in the exact same way. He designs different paths and timing for each of us. {Tweet this}

If the author I was reading about knew I was comparing myself to her, I imagine she might say, Please don't. That's not why I write. I know that's what I would say if someone was comparing herself to me. I don't want to write so people look at me. I write with the hope and prayer that my words point to Jesus.

And that’s exactly what the enemy doesn't want.

In Christ,

Laura

[Photo credit: FreeImages.com]

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