A few days ago, I was really restless. All afternoon, I moved from thing to thing—doing chores, making dinner and cleaning up, baking cookies, and writing a blog post. I got quite a bit accomplished, but something was still off.
It was after dinner when I figured it out…I hadn’t spent time with God all day.
I thought I had—I spent all morning going through Scripture. But…as part of the church ministry staff where I work, that time in Scripture was for a project I was working on, not a personal Bible study.
My morning had been about God, but not spent with God.
Once home, my afternoon was quiet and I thought about sitting down for some quiet time with Him…but I was antsy. So antsy I wouldn’t be able to sit still. That’s what I told myself. So, I mopped the kitchen floor instead.
After dinner, I baked cookies because I couldn’t imagine sitting still to watch TV with my family. I thought about how I didn’t try to sit still that afternoon and talk to God. And I wrote about it.
Then…I asked my daughter to read what I wrote. I value her opinion and ask her to read most of what I write before it goes online.
In her gentle, I-don’t-want-to-hurt-mom’s-feelings way, she suggested I let it sit and see what I thought of it in the morning. I don’t remember her ever suggesting that before, so I started to wonder what had gone wrong.
That’s when it all started to make sense—my morning was about God, but not with Him…I mopped instead of spending time with Him…and then I wrote about it—but still hadn’t had a conversation with Him.
God had been trying to get my attention, but I’d been too focused on my restlessness. It didn’t even occur to me that I was restless for Him.
That post I wrote never made it online. I haven’t even reread it yet. But I thanked my daughter the next day for her honesty. And I thanked God for pursuing me.
I did enjoy the warm cookies that night and my clean kitchen floor, but more importantly, I relearned a lesson that easily gets forgotten…
Being about God is not the same as being with God.
It’s an easy place for the lines to get blurred, especially when you write about faith—both personally and at work. I need the reminder to pay attention and surrender to the nudges from God.
Because He knows, before I do, when I’m restless for Him.
Thank you Arabah Joy!
Photo credit: Stock photo:Cookies 3