And then a few days ago, I ignored my own words.
It started with an e-mail I received. It asked me to choose a date for a specific opportunity I was already involved in. There were only so many dates available, on a first-come, first-served basis, and from the e-mail chain in front of me, I was apparently the last to speak up.
I knew better than to get worked up over it…but I did anyway.
From what I could tell, all of the dates were spoken for. I had chosen not to spend my day online, and for that, I had missed out. And I fumed.
I knew God had it under control, but I couldn’t seem to get myself under control. Actually, I don’t think I even tried.
I was sure I’d been left out of something I’d been involved in for years, and I let my emotions fuel my nasty thoughts.
I told myself that it might be part of God’s plan for me. Maybe it was time to move on to whatever was next. The problem was, I had no idea what that might be, so I started feeling sorry for myself.
I kept checking my e-mail waiting for a reply, knowing that it would confirm what I thought I knew. And while I continued to stew about it, I grew snippy with my family.
I’m sure they were less than thrilled to be around me because I didn’t even want to be around myself.
And then, I received the reply I was waiting for. But it wasn’t what I was expecting. It didn’t say what I’d already chosen to believe. Instead, it confirmed that I already had a place.
I ignored common sense and my belief that peace comes through trusting God, choosing to walk the path of negativity instead of possibilities.
God had it under control, but I decided to fume rather than to trust. And because I failed to trust, I was far from experiencing His peace.
I had apologies to give and forgiveness to ask for—from God and my family. And a post to write—because lessons are easily forgotten (or ignored) and have to be relearned. Over and over.
And over again.
Photo credit: Stock photo: Edinburgh skyline
Linking up with Winsome Wednesday, Everyday Jesus, Thought Provoking Thursday, #TellHisStory, Give Me Grace, Unforced Rhythms, Faith Filled Friday, Coffee for Your Heart, Blessing Counters, The Weekend Brew