4 Steps to Keep Irritability from Spreading

I was really irritable last week. Irritable like when people start to back away from you slowly and give you a lot of personal space, and you’re glad. It wasn’t one thing in particular. It was everything. And everyone. All week long.

I couldn’t seem to shake it, but I didn’t want it to spread to my family. I’ve been on the other side too many times—not sure if someone was mad at me or just mad in general. I didn’t want others to wonder what they’d done, when really, the problem was me and my bad mood. So, in addition to prayer for my own heart, I started to really pay attention to how my irritability might affect others.

4 Steps to Keep Irritability from Spreading {Tweet this}

1 – Acknowledge how you feel and let others know it’s not them. (Or be specific if it is something someone did.)

I knew my nerves were frayed and my supply of patience was empty, so I tried to keep to myself when I could. One night my daughter asked, “Are you upset with me?”

I answered honestly, “No, I’m not upset with you. I feel irritable and everything is getting on my nerves, but it’s not something you did.” From there, we went on with our evening. She knew I wasn’t feeling myself, but that it wasn’t because of her, and I breathed a little easier because I admitted how I was feeling.

It didn’t specifically fix anything, but it kept my irritability from infecting her.

2 – Take care of yourself.

By the end of the week, I was sick. I’d been denying it all week long. It’s not that bad….I don’t feel as bad as I sound. I was fine—until I wasn’t. I needed time to rest and get well. By then, I was still super irritable and then I was sick too—not a good combination.

Everything always seems worse when we’re tired, hungry, and/or sick. That doesn’t mean our problems or situations aren’t really as bad as we think they are. They might be downright awful. But, when we don’t take care of ourselves, our energy and ability to deal with things that come our way are limited. Everyday inconveniences seem way worse than they might if we were thinking clearly.

Stress takes its toll. It can make us forget to eat at regular intervals or not get the sleep we need. Stress keeps us from letting our minds relax during the day and wears down our immunity systems. Eventually, we find ourselves drained and struggling to get through the day. 

3 – Take a time out.

As an introvert, I re-energize by having time to myself. Last week though, I was so irritable, I didn’t even want to spend time with me. So, one night, although it was early in the evening, I announced I was going to bed. I needed sleep and I needed to be done with the day.

Taking a time out isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it can be a very good thing. Sometimes it’s best to remove ourselves from a situation before we make it worse. Even when it’s unintentional, our bad moods affect others. We might pick a fight or lash out at someone just because we’re reacting from stress and emotions instead of clear thinking.

4 – Don’t worry about things ahead of time.

When I found myself getting angry about something that hadn’t happened yet, I knew it was my irritability controlling me. I had to make myself stop thinking about it before my thoughts spun out of control.

Worry and anger before the fact do one of two things—either we’ll get upset for no reason because what we think will happen ends up not happening, or we put ourselves through the emotional stress twice, before it happens and then again when it does happen.

Both cause unnecessary emotional, physical, and mental stress that can ruin our day and affect those around us. Worry and anger like to have control. It’s up to us whether or not we’ll let them have it. {Tweet this}

I don't pretend to have this all figured out. I'm still working on it and probably always will be. It takes a conscious effort and practice to change our thoughts and learn how to control our worry and emotions, but it can be done. And the time and effort we spend on it is worth it.

What do you do when you find yourself in a mood you don’t want to spread?

In Christ,

Laura

[Photo credit: K. Rath]

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