Holding It All Together

“You’re the glue that holds everything together.”

I would guess that I’m not the only wife and mother who has either heard it, thought it, or feels it.

I suppose it’s a compliment. Or at least it was on the cutesy Mother’s Day card I saw at the store several months ago.

The first time I thought about myself as the one who holds it all together, it felt kind of empowering. That’s right. I am the one who keeps us all on track.

After a while, it started to feel annoying. Okay, people…you don’t need to come to me for everything.

Lately, however, it just makes me feel tired. Listen up—do it yourself or do without it.

Now, before you suck in your breath at that last statement and think I’m ungrateful, I’m not. I’m very thankful for what God has blessed me with…but I’m also being honest.

That cute Mother’s Day card I saw should have said on the inside: “You must be exhausted.” But it didn’t.

The truth is no matter if you’re a wife and mother, a single mother, a daughter and care giver, or somewhere in between, being the glue that holds everything together is tiring. And in long, drawn-out, real-life situations it is exhausting.

I have to believe I’m not the only one who knows what it feels like. Maybe you’re…

- The one who tries to stay hopeful when nothing is going the way we want it to, and everyone is getting weary…and irritable.

- The one who keeps pouring into others, but is feeling empty herself.

- The one who starts feeling lost while trying to keep everyone on the right path.

- The one who champions others, but feels alone and unsupported.

- The one who tries to keep it all together when it feels like everything is falling apart.

Even the best glue gets tired and won’t hold forever.

Over time, when glue gets stretched too thin, it loses its grip. It might start underneath where it can’t be seen. Or perhaps it’s a barely visible crack in the smooth exterior that goes unnoticed. Either way, without reinforcement, that crack will continue to spread or snap completely.

To fix physical objects, we can add more adhesive. (I’ve been known to do this.)

Or jury-rig a quick fix. (Yes, I’ve been known to do this also. MacGyver it. It’s a real term. Thank you 1980s.)

But, what happens when we’re the glue? Then what?

The truth is no amount of glue on the outside will fix what only God can do on the inside. {Tweet this}

So, what do we do when we’re the one holding it all together and the weight becomes too heavy to bear? {Tweet this}

Please join me at Candidly Christian where I talk about 3 steps we can take when the load gets too heavy. When You Feel Like You're Holding It All Together.

In Christ,
Laura

[Photo credit: Candidly Christian]

Linking up with: Purposeful Faith, #TeaAndWord, Trekking Thru, #GraceFullTuesday, #TellHisStory, Let's Have Coffee, #DestinationInspiration, #RechargeWednesday, #porchstories, Grace & Truth, Faith 'n Friends, #FaithonFire, #FreshMarketFriday, #BVNetworkParty

Pruning

A couple of weeks ago we had four trees trimmed. It needed to be done. They were hanging low, touching the fence and getting a little too personal with our neighbor’s vehicles. But, the pruning was done aggressively, taking more than we expected, or wanted.

A range of emotions followed in my home—sadness because I felt like my trees were ruined, surprise over how sad I was, annoyance because it wasn’t what we wanted, anger because the bill still had to be paid…and finally, in time, acceptance.

As we worked through at our own pace, I thought about the pruning God does in us and how we might experience the same emotions.

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.”

John 15:1-4 NLT

The pruning process is not easy for us. God wants to draw us close to Him, and as He changes us from the inside out, He knows what isn’t producing fruit. From our perspective though, this looks like having to give up things, interests, behavior, or ways of life that we like or we’re used to. It means laying down our will for His.

The more we know God, the greater the desire to make these changes, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It can be unpleasant, uncomfortable, and downright painful. {Tweet this}

While God’s pruning is always what’s best for us, it doesn’t feel that way when the work is being done. It may feel like He’s pruning too aggressively, taking more than we expect, or want to give up.

There might be sadness because what we’ve always known is no longer what’s normal. It may mean a change in who we associate with or where we go, and making those changes can be hard, and even lonely. No matter how much we do want our lives to be different, there are still pieces or memories that we don’t want to give up completely. And that may surprise us.

There might be annoyance at what God is asking of us. We’ve worked and worked to move forward, but it’s still not enough. He’s still snipping and cutting, even from where we’ve made progress, and we want to shout, Stop! Enough trimming. You’re taking too much and it’s just too hard. We didn’t agree to this much pruning.

We might be angry. This isn’t what we asked for. The years of hardship. The loss. The sudden and drastic changes in our lives that don’t make sense to us. Years later we may see how He drew us close and we learned to trust Him in every way. But, right now, when it feels like we’re getting hit with one thing after another and we don’t understand why He’s letting it happen, it’s difficult to see how we can grow from it.

We want some explanation and to know how this will work out. We want our questions answered—How long? Why? When? But, when our questions don’t get answered, we have to wait and trust that the One pruning knows what He’s doing.

At some point, when the new becomes more familiar and comfortable, there is acceptance. We’ve become used to the changes—both the good and the bad, and it’s not as difficult to function. It’s no longer a constant struggle to get through each day because there’s been new growth. Instead of only seeing what’s missing, we see how God has blessed us. There is still grief and mourning, but there is also thankfulness and new beginnings.

Our trees were trimmed with the best of intentions and we received a credit when I kindly expressed how disappointed we were. God prunes us for His purpose and His glory, and when we turn to Him with our disappointment, exhaustion, sadness, and even our anger, He comforts us with love and compassion. {Tweet this}

God’s work will still be done, but He never cuts and walks away. He stays with us through the pain and the setbacks. He encourages us as we get back on our feet. And He rejoices with us as we begin to see the growth through His pruning.

In Christ,

Laura

[Photo credit: Unsplash.com]

Linking up with: Purposeful Faith, #TeaAndWord, Trekking Thru, #GraceFullTuesday, Let's Have Coffee, #DestinationInspiration, #RechargeWednesday, #porchstories, #gracemoments, Sitting Among Friends, #TellHisStory, Grace & Truth, Faith 'n Friends, #FaithonFire, #FreshMarketFriday, #BVNetworkParty 

What If?

Last night, we got into a What if? conversation. Not the kind that causes worry, but rather wonder.

What if my husband and I hadn’t gone out the night we met? What if we’d each chosen to do something else that night…would we have met each other at a different time? It seems unlikely.

Which means everything since then wouldn’t have happened. Or would have occurred in completely different ways.

It made me keep thinking and wondering about how we live our days and how any given decision can affect the future…

What if we focused on the positive instead of the negative?

What if we spent less time worried or angry?

What if we were less offended by all the things that offend us?

What if we decide to choose joy despite circumstances?

How would everything be different? Better?

Think about it.

How much time do we waste stewing about the past or worried about the future? {Tweet this}

Every day, we have the choice to spend our time holding on to anger and unforgiveness…or letting it go.

We have the choice to turn to God, to walk closer to Him, and to receive and grow in His love and forgiveness. Or we can choose not to.

What if we wonder (not worry) and let the what ifs help us make better daily choices?

In Christ,

Laura

  

Linking up with: Five Minute Friday, Purposeful Faith, #TeaAndWord, Trekking Thru, #GraceFullTuesday, #TellHisStory, Let's Have Coffee, #porchstories, #RechargeWednesday, Sitting Among Friends, #gracemoments, Moments of Hope, Faith 'n Friends, Grace & Truth, #FreshMarketFriday, #FaithonFire, #BVNetworkParty