Monday, August 31, 2015

I Want to Be Frustrated With God


Last week I wanted to be frustrated with God.

I’ve grown tired of one-step-forward good days being followed by three-steps-backward bad days. And I want to know why.

Why God?

I told God I was frustrated with Him. And as I stood at the kitchen sink washing dishes, I asked Him, Where are You?!?

At that moment I saw new purple flowers had bloomed on the African violet that sits in my kitchen window. Five perfectly formed violet flowers with tiny yellow centers…and I saw Him there.

It’s not where I’ve been begging to see Him, but it’s His beautiful work regardless. And, it reminds me that His ways are not my ways, and His time isn’t mine.

I want to be frustrated with God, but somehow I can’t be. My emotions say I am, but my head and my heart refuse to agree. Because I know better.

I know it’s what the enemy wants—for me to think God is not for me, but against me. That assumption can happen quickly when discouragement and anger grow.

I look at the purple blooms and realize it’s not God I’m frustrated with, but rather life and our humanness.

It’s illness and disease.

It’s strained and broken relationships.

It’s trauma and tragedy.

It’s that we often turn to God as a last resort, instead of our first thought.

I don’t understand His ways or His timing, but it’s not for me to know. He’s working on things I can’t even imagine, and I can only see what surrounds me.

What I know is I believe in miracles and the impossible…because that’s where God works.

I know I believe in Hope because I believe Jesus died for our sins and conquered sin and death when He rose from the grave.

I believe Jesus is Hope.

I want to be frustrated with God because He knows and sees it all. He is in control.

But, it’s really life and this world we live in that I’m discouraged with.

I know I can’t be frustrated with God because He does know. He sees what we’re going through and He cares. He is in control, and through Jesus, there is Hope.

In Christ,
Laura 




10 comments:

  1. Laura, such a great post! Sometimes (Read: More often than I care to admit) I get frustrated with God too. But indeed God's ways are not our ways. It is hard to trust in that when illness, broken relationships, etc are happening, but God has away of bringing us through in God's timing. Blessed to be your neighbor at the RaRa Linkup today! :)

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  2. "I want to be frustrated with God, but somehow I can’t be. My emotions say I am, but my head and my heart refuse to agree. Because I know better." It is strange when things like frustration pose as rights, but as you so beautifully illustrated with your words HE IS SO MUCH BIGGER. Thanks! Visiting from #givemegrace

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  3. Beautiful post, Laura. When you wrote, "I believe Jesus is Hope," it made me think about how God keeps bringing the word hope to my mind continually this year. Hope seems to be my word for 2015.

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  4. Amen, Laura,
    We might feel frustrated but thankfully the Lord can speak to our spirits so we know Him and know He will do what we cannot - and a different way too. I am following you from Playdates with God.

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  5. The Lord is definately with me in my own frustration. I don't like being frustrated with God either, but I think it allows me to seek Him with even greater desperation.

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  6. Times like that I find the Psalms to be so helpful for the ways they acknowledge and move through frustration.

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  7. Thank you for making me feel less alone and for encouraging my heart, Laura. Sometimes it's a struggle to trust God's ways and timing are so much better than ours. I was touched that as you cried, "Where are you?!?," your eyes opened to see God in the African Violet flowers. I've been thinking lately that even when I can't "feel" God, evidences of Him and His love are right in front of me when I open my heart to them. Glad I am your neighbor at raralinkup. :)

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  8. I'm so glad those purple flowers were on your windowsill. I think I get frustrated with myself more often than with God. I guess I learned a long time ago that God is God and I'm not - It's what I call Theology 101 - it keeps me from getting bogged down in my ego (get thee behind me!). I'm glad I am your neighbor today at Coffee for Your Heart

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  9. You are one step ahead of me, Laura! Sometimes when I am frustrated with God, my heart actually agrees. How thankful I am for His grace, though! He keeps pouring out His loving, helping me to understand that He really knows what He's doing. :)

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  10. I get frustrated at God sometimes, but my heart doesn't always agree.I always feel like someone is telling me that I know better than to get frustrated with God.
    Sometimes its really hard to trust God, understanding His timing which doesn't always come early nor late. But in all, I've learned to open my heart to Him so that even when I can't feel Him, or see proves of His hand on my life I just look around and into other people's life and encourage myself that He is in my neighborhood.
    Thank you Laura for sharing this encouragement. It feels great to know that we are not alone in our challenges.
    Thank you Ma for stopping by my blog.

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts!