On the Path to Perfect by Sandra Heska King {Comparison Series}


I'm so pleased to have Sandra Heska King here today as my guest in the "Comparing Ourselves to Others...and what it does to us" series. I had the pleasure of meeting Sandra last year at the Jumping Tandem Retreat...and, I'll admit, I was shocked she knew who I was before an introduction was made (and tickled pink.) Please take some time to visit her blog and welcome her here by leaving a comment. ~ Laura

Please, God, let my parents come and beat her up.

We’d had a sword fight with pencils, Patsi and I. And Mrs. Smith rapped my 8-year-old knuckles.

But not Patsi’s.

So I turned around and scribbled on Patsi’s picture.

And now I stood in the corner, lump in throat, cheeks aflame.

It didn’t occur to me that if my parents did come, I might be the one in trouble and not Mrs. Smith.

And certainly not Patsi.

She was practically perfect in every way, and I was always just about one step behind her.

If I got an A, she got an A+.

When I brought home a B, my mom asked, “What did Patsi get?”

The teacher divided our class into reading groups, and Patsi and I were a group of two. I still remember how she giggled when I pronounced the word, “the” as “thee.”

Patsi was valedictorian of our senior class. Well, co-valdictorian. I could have been (a) salutatorian—except there were four of us very close, and the school let us choose whether we wanted to share or let the one with the very highest grade take all the honors. We chose that route—which means I lost by about 200ths of a point.

Patsi became a nurse. But she had a four-year degree from a top school. I got a diploma from a hospital. (Until I was in my mid-40’s and got my own bachelor’s from a rival university.)

It’s hard to keep up with perfect. Exhausting, actually. And sometimes I wonder if I might have even tried a path other than nursing if I hadn’t been trotting so close to her.

Even now that I’ve found my own road, it’s hard to not compare my life with what might have been or what could be that can’t, my kids with other kids, my house with someone else’s, my depth of faith with Susie’s, my store of wisdom with Joanna’s, my makeup talent and sense of style with Mavis, my writing “success” with…well, you get the picture.

I want to be practically perfect in every way.

But here’s the thing.

I am.

Because I AM sees me that way.

Because He made me this way.

And He’s had His hand on each step of my journey, weaving every weed and broken stick and bee sting and crushed leaf along the way into a colorful wildflower life filled with fragrance and song. Even if my senses haven’t quite yet comprehended it all.

I’m pretty sure that by the time I reach the river, I’ll find I’ve been following His footsteps all along, even if sometimes they’ve seemed somewhat buried under life’s litter.

So today I’ll embrace the me He made me to be. I’ll kick comparison to the curb, and celebrate the you He created you to be. Because we’ve each been fashioned by the Father, handcrafted to honor Him and reflect His image in our own unique ways.

Oh, one more thing. I asked Jesus into my heart in grade school behind the gym when Patsi prayed with me. I guess you could say she’s the one who set me on the path to follow the only perfect One.

*****

Sandra Heska King lives in Michigan and writes from a 150-plus-year-old family farmhouse set on 60-something acres surrounded by corn or soybeans or sometimes wheat. She’s a recovering doer who’s learning to be and be still. She spends too much money on books and eats too many M&M’s, and she tries to live Mary Oliver’s words: “Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.”

Sandra blogs at sandraheskaking.com and sometimes spills words in other places across the internet like The High Calling. She’s currently working on a memoir and a novel, and you can catch up with her on Facebook and Twitter.

Choosing For This Season

I have the pleasure today of being a guest writer at my friend Barbie's place - My Freshly Brewed Life, where I'm talking about the choices we sometimes have to make in life. They may only be for a season...but sometimes saying yes to one thing means saying no to something else, and we have to decide where our time is best spent.


It started as I drove to meet a friend for lunch one day last fall. I can’t tell you the exact words, but I sensed God telling me to spend more time focused at home and on my daughter. Honestly, I didn’t really get it. My life pretty much revolves around my family, home, and work, so I didn’t know what He was referring to, but it was clearly from Him.

I didn’t feel as if there was something specific I was supposed to do… that would have been easier—something I could check it off a list. No, instead, it was more of a feeling or reminder to let other things go and focus on the moment.

Oddly enough, I found that tension between television and the online world.

I’m not one to sit and watch television for hours. I have to be doing something else while I watch—reading, working on a jigsaw puzzle, working on a post or my blog, or surfing the Web.

I thought they were all the same, so what’s the difference if I’m online or flipping through a magazine?

The difference is…the online world takes you away from the world you’re currently sitting in.

Have you ever been in a meeting where someone starts checking his e-mail and you watch his attention shift? No longer is he in the conversation at the table. He’s now in his e-mail world and you’re wondering if he’s coming back, or if you somehow missed the end of the meeting.

I realized that’s what I was doing at home...   

To read the rest of my post, please join me at Barbie's place - My Freshly Brewed Life. And tell me, what's been your experience...when have you found yourself at a time of having to choose what was right for the season you were in?

In Christ,
Laura

The Comparison Trap (3 Ways to Get Free) by Dawn Paoletta {Comparison Series}


Dawn Paoletta is my guest today in the "Comparing Ourselves to Others...and what it does to us" series. I can't remember when I first met Dawn online, but I've enjoyed getting to know her over the past couple of years. You can find her writing on her blog at Enthusiastically, Dawn, as well as 5 Minutes for Faith. Please make her feel welcome here today by leaving a comment. ~ Laura

The bus ride home was always the same. Mine was the last stop, but before my stop came hers. I never knew her name; she was a couple of years older than me. We never exchanged a word.

Every day, the bus stopped right in front of her large, 2-story home, with manicured lawn. She had long, straight, caramel colored hair and always dressed well.  I saw her big beautiful house and I imagined her in her perfect bedroom, in her perfect house with her perfect life…and I ached for all I didn't have.  

Sometimes I dreamed I was her. I wanted to be all that. What I thought was all that, anyway.

Then the bus came to my stop, one street over from the second story apartment where I lived with my mom and cat. I climbed the stairs, let myself in, turned on the TV and tuned out of the life that was mine.

That girl on the bus was forgotten until I was invited to write this post on Comparing Ourselves to Others. She was buried deep in my unconsciousness, like sleeping beauty, perfectly laid out in all her beautiful splendor, a memory awakened by the proper prompt.

I believed my life was a mistake—that I was a mistake, and my only hope was to have a new life, and a new self. All was magnified unrealistically as I began looking through my distorted lenses at others and seeing all of their perfection and all of my imperfection.

Broken family, donated clothes, an unavailable, but hardworking mom struggling to make ends meet, and one, lost little girl believing The Brady Bunch was an accurate portrayal of everyone else's family.

Soul wounds are hotbeds for breeding comparison, and they need healing from a supernatural source. You cannot fix that which is unfixable. Of course I realized this as an adult, after many years of trying to fix what can only be fixed by a Supernatural God.

I realized that the girl on the bus had shown up again while talking on the phone with my best friend...about this post. I asked her to pray for me because I was struggling with this topic of comparison. I told her I was intimidated by all the other really great writers who were participating, and I couldn't hear God clearly. As the words came out of my mouth I sensed the irony.

I was sitting on the bus in my Sears Roebuck plaid pants, while everyone else had Levi’s blue jeans. Again. Their perfectly published books, blogs, and lives, compared to my perceived insignificance.

But here's where it gets good!
“The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” Lamentation 3:24
I know what I think is not true—because God has given me something, too. Not plaid pants, but a perfect portion. Immeasurable grace and truth, in abundance.

He's given wonderful gifts to each of us—beautiful, significant, perfect-in-Christ portions that only we can share…if we dare.

I'd like to say I don't get caught in the comparison trap or that I’m above it. I think God allowed my words to remain stuck until I was willing to tell the truth—I do still get caught in it. But the difference now is, my Savior is on the bus with me, and He helps me to see clearly. He introduces me to the girl on the bus, and I discover we are not so different after all.

God is good, God is just, and God is faithful. He gives each of us exactly what we need, and all that touches our lives is filtered by His loving-kindness, mercy and grace.

Here are three things I do when I find myself ensnared by the comparison trap:

1. I wake up: Once I realize (hello, sometimes I am dense!) I am comparing, I take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

2. I smell the coffee: I focus my eyes on Him instead of others and myself. I consider His great love and sacrifice for me. (Psalm 107:43)

3. I swig and savor: We are armed with the Living Words of a Mighty Savior. So I take a big swig of that cup of goodness and drink it down into the crevices of my soul. I savor the Truth that is sweet, satisfying and soothing to my soul. I am strengthened and empowered. (Hebrews 4:12; Psalm 34:8; Ephesians 6:10-17)

When I do these things, I am not only free from the comparison trap, but I am able to see that in His Kingdom, none are insignificant, but all find significance in Him.  

There’s no need to compare. There's enough to go around, friends—more than enough in Christ.

*****

Dawn Paoletta is a writer who has finally come out of the closet and is following her dream to share her life lessons and insights through writing. Having worked as a Personal Trainer & Group Fitness Instructor most of her adult life, she is a natural coach and encourager who can’t help sharing what she’s learned along the way. She likes to serve up spiritual lessons learned with authenticity, grace and truth. Join her at Enthusiastically, Dawn where she shares Poetry, Journal Keeping, Daily Inspiration and more, fresh from the Coast of Rhode Island. 


Life in His Word


I recently had the pleasure of reading an advance copy of Jennifer Hand’s 31 Days to Coming Alive. Written as a daily devotional, her words captured my attention, and really got me thinking…and going deeper.
God could have made one common animal, but Genesis describes how He made varieties of animals, plants, ecosystems, environments, even the land and the sea. The powerful part of God? He spoke all of creation into being with His words. Jennifer Hand, 31 Days to Coming Alive (bold mine)
I couldn’t help but stop here and ponder. God spoke all of creation into being—with His words.

His powerful words…which are given to us in the Bible.

His God-breathed words of life.

It wasn’t just at the time of creation that God breathed life with His words. His words give life every time we open the Bible and start reading.

Jesus confirmed it when He was being tempted by Satan... Continue reading...

To continue reading, please join me at 5 Minutes for Faith.

Jennifer Hand's eBook, 31 days to Coming Alive, is now available on Amazon. Click here for more info: Coming Alive Ministries.

In Christ,